{ lady m }

Self Portrait 4-11

Self Portrait 3-11

Mar 5, 2011

Love getting my hair done and adore being a girl! ;)

Self Portrait 2/11

Things happen for a reason...

It's almost been a month and I've had tension headaches off and on.  I don't know why I'm getting them? I seem to be less stressed now so I don't know.  I guess it could be something in my subconscious.  Who knows?!?  I try not to take too many pills and just deal with the pain as long possible.  I guess if it gets worse I'll have to see the doc all over again.

 
On a positive note I'm happy to say that I've cleared up some issues with some people that are close to me.   I'm very happy about that and feel so much at ease.   I knew it was going to happen but I just need some time for myself and once I felt ready I went for it.  I feel so much better now, that's for sure.  There are people that come and go but the ones that are extra special one must make an effort to keep the close even if there is a hiccup in the friendship.  And then there are those friendships that were never meant to be but that's another story.

I had a date for a wedding I was attending on Saturday but at the last hour it fell through.  I was so upset that I couldn't find a replacement and after searching for about an hour, I accepted the fact that I was going alone.  I was not going to cancel so I put on my big girl panties and headed to the ceremony.  The drive was long but it gave me time to clear my head, put things in perspective, and told myself that this was indeed a good thing and something I need to face head on.

I have to say, I did well  minus the breakdowns here and there, as expected at a wedding, but under my circumstances it was going to be even harder.  I cried, laughed, reminisced, danced, photographed and in the end I had a good time and made it through.  The wedding was awesome and everything went well.  I wish I would have taken some pics of myself to look back at and see how much stronger I am getting, emotionally anyway.

Things happen for a reason and this one is clear as day.

Hello 37!

It's such a gorgeous, rainy and cold day.  It finally feels like fall weather and I am loving it even though my bones don't agree.  I hope the hot and humid weather stays away.  I want to go home and cuddle on the couch and enjoy the rest of the day. ;)

This weekend was so awesome.  I celebrated my 37th birthday on Sunday.  How do I feel?  I feel the same except I have a different outlook on life.  I am looking forward to a new year of positivity, happiness, living a healthier lifestyle, and not sweating the small stuff and negativity.  The past 2 years have been so exhausting and depressing.  I want to be happy and I think I'm on my way.

My family and friends helped me celebrate  since last week and they certainly know how to make me feel appreciated and loved.  I got some things straightend out with a couple people recently and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I've apologized and explained my part so now we can move forward.  It feels so good to clear things up and smile.  All the while I thought I was letting go of the hurt and resentment but it was still there, deep inside.  Now that it's gone I feel so much better and even a little lighter.  *skip to my lou*

I am happy to have made it through another year even with bumps and bruises but I am now a stronger person and see that even though one chapter of my life has closed a new one has started and I am going to make the best of it and not repeat the same mistakes. 

I can and will do it.

 

 

hot weather, migraines and me

We're in the middle of a heat wave in the beginning of fall.   I've been waiting for the cooler weather and now it's in the 90's and 100's!  Go figure. 

I had such a horrible migraine/tension headache all weekend starting on Friday night.  After making dinner I could not keep my eyes open.  It was only 7pm and I was ready to hit the hay.  I watched a movie but fell asleep after about an hour or so.  The next morning I was up before 7am and decided to get up, shower, and read.  I could feel the pain behind my eyes begin and soon enough it was back. I lost count of how many Motrin I took but they seem to help, for a while anyway.  I ran some errands in the morning to avoid the heat and spent the rest of the day nursing my headache.  Sunday wasnt' any better.  I ended up putting a cold rag on my head and napped in my dark and cool bedroom.  I don't know if the weather brought my headache or perhaps my salt intake.  I try to limit it as much as possible...sigh. 

Today I feel much better even thought it's another 100 degree day.  Can't wait to get home, turn on the AC , veg, and do some more reading. I am loving my book. 

On a side note, I trimmed Roxy's hair and realized later that I nipped his skin.  It's a small cut and now it's forming a scab but I felt like a terrible mommy.  I'm really careful but I guess I cut a little too close on his tummy.  *sniff*

Here he is chilling on the window checking out life.

I'm how old?

Is it really fall already? It sure doesn't feel like it.  I'm still wearing sandles and cool clothing even though the morning and nights are somewhat chilly.  We are having another heatwave. Ugh.  I have a stong feeling once the cooloer weather comes around and hopefulluy later than sooner,  I will be suffering from some sord of arthritis beacause my bones ache if I don't keep warm.   I don't know if it's my bones or muscles but whichever one it is, it sucks.  I remember as a kid mother would say "don't walk around barefoot, your feet are going to hurt later".  Well I never paid attention to that but as I got older my feet did ache and guess what?  she was right!

I will be celebrating another birthday next month. Oh how time flies.  It seems like just yesterday I was celebrating a birthday.  I didn't want to make a big deal so I kept it pretty mellow.  This year I think I feel the same way.  The other day at work I was thinking about my 37th birthday and how i was going to celebrate it.  I went to do the math and low and  behold, I am turning 38 not 37  as I thought.  Ha!  Wishful thinking I guess. 

I am thankful to have lived another year regarless of the stress, self inflicted or not and all the ups and downs.  I hope to be a better person, be more patient, be more compassionate, be more active, cook more, read more, write more, and makes amends with the people I care about and care for me.  I will nurture the friendships I have before I loose them. 

I hope life will be better....

Sleepless nights on the road to 40...

I had a very nice and long holiday weekend.  I didn't have much planned except for a couple bbq's on the 4th, which were awesome.  I got lots of rest, shopped, and read a bit.  So Monday night came and I had a restless night.  I tossed and turned and was ready to take on the day except it was only 2:20am.  I haven't been able to get a good night's rest until last night.  Finally!  I woke up rested and felt better even though my shoulder was still sore and in pain (old injury). Here we are again, it' s July already and soon it will be 2011.  Where does the time go?  Have I accomplished the goals I set out in January? Yes and No.  I seem to have grown apart from some family and friends (not one of my goals).   Is this what happens or is this something you chose?  I have become more of a hermit in a way or I should say more to myself instead of the outgoing person I used to be.  I am a different person now that is for sure.  I don't really care to do the things I used to do and don't care to run around like before.  Is this just a phase or am I starting another chapter as I get closer to 40?

She just melted my heart...

I usually see and call my mom once or twice a week depending on how busy I am.  It's very rare that she calls me because she says "you should be the one to call me because I'm the mother and you're the daughter".   I've never been able to figure that out and don't think I ever will. I had a missed call last night before I went to bed.  I checked it and lo and behold it was my mother! What a nice surprise.  So I called her back, we chit chatted about this, that, and the other.  I couldn't help but ask her why she had called me.   She says, "well I haven't seen you since Sunday so I wanted to hear your voice".  Now is that the sweetest thing ever?  LOL!  She just melted my heart. I love you Mom!